air - a poem by Caleb Mangum

air

With a loud cry, Jesus breathed his last
We rolled the stone
air tight o’er the tomb
put guards on it, walked away, and darkness reigned
there was no heart left to take

me, I’m ok
I’m ok because I keep staying in
mask and Purell and I count all my sins
I wash and keep 6, always track where I’ve been
I’m 32 I won’t ever need an ICU
see money buys hydroxychloroquine

Jesus, breathe,
into me
Ruach that living air like living water…you promised
and…I…won’t forego hope
maybe you’re asleep in a boat
or maybe you hold me afloat
or throw me a rope
and i don’t or i won’t
let go that hope rope
turn NPR off watch wait instead for the holy ghost…

Lord, respirate me
Circulate and ventillate me

the news got worse again today:
my friend miscarried, again, Good Friday
an ambulance came down Parkview Drive and New York passed Italy
I love zoom cuz I see you
Our essential jobs feel like sentences today
Our poor and black wore the virus the hardest, of course
God this thing can’t come to India
we can print more dollars but does that not make things worse?

God excuse our anxieties; this thing hits us all, just differently
thank the nurses and clerks you see
try and scour some immunity
bootstrap some generosity
we’re tired of distancing
don’t say “new normal” again
i get in the car and just screammmmm

for air, it’s getting harder to breathe
where’s the top of this peak?
there’s Lazarus and Elijah and you and…can you really resurrect me?

I’m ok because the thing they say
to fear
the most only takes breath in me if I let it
when I stop to think what death is
I can take heart again cuz he’s conquered that too
covid, diabetes or flu
they’re just moth and rust that accrue

So I’ll sit out by this grave and I’ll wait
It’s you who oxygenates
and gives the heart there is to take
selah