Thoughts from Jess…

There comes a point in every person’s spiritual walk when you are hit with a hard truth – That there is nothing and no one left to blame for your unhappiness. One can only grapple in circles for so long before coming to a place where they must turn and face themselves and the constant writhing within. No earthly relationships or worldly distractions can save us from it. This is most terrifying when realizing that you must simply lie down where you are and trust God to carry you to the next phase. I’ve learned that this doesn’t mean we just give up and withdrawal from life. Just the opposite. We have to be available and accessible, search every corner and crevasse within eyesight for answers and clues. Not that they come easily, but God cannot and will not work through people who remain balled up in the fetal position with their eyes shut and ears covered.
In our society today it seems that we live with a “my way or the highway” attitude. There are those who, when disappointed with the present moment, search for the next person to pour out their disdain upon, before moving on. Sadly this has filtered into Christian communities, and has caused the body of Christ to slowly begin to disconnect and crumble away before our very eyes. What if every person made a cognitive effort to learn to fearlessly love people without any agenda? Without turning their backs or running away the first moment they felt let down or misunderstood. What if every person would strive to get to know others openly and honestly, beyond things like face-book or other laminated means of human contact? Without expectations. What if instead of asking ourselves, “What can I gain from my environment?” or, “Can I trust my environment?” or “Do I fit in?” we say, ”How does my presence here have an impact on my immediate surroundings?” I’ve learned that if you can’t find a piece of your soul to offer up in any area of your life, then you haven’t searched hard enough. Perhaps that’s when it’s time to stop blaming people and situations and start pressing into all the potential that lies just beneath the surface. That lonely, uncomfortable place where God doesn’t always seem as clear or defined, but where life and sadness and depth and healing seem to somehow come together. That is where the real possibilities lie. I’ve been blessed to witness these changes transpire in my own church community here, but I think we still have a long way to go.

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